silly boy

First day since I had my decision. And I am actually still chipper, I think I always have an innate longing. But, it is actually more of a lingering thought in the back of my head, How the fuck did this occur in the first place? What a silly boy! So, now what? Well fuck isn't it obvious.... I'm gonna stop to smell the flowers damn it. To enjoy the small things in life; to appreciate the things that I do have. I have always loved my apartment and what it represents. The edge of the central/downtown slums, on the cusp of the west side. It is unidentifiable with any of those locations as a whole, just simply in the "UTEP area." That's me, not truly an from here, in the sense of philosophies, but perhaps ideologies. IF that makes any sense?!? Not sure it does, but I to understand how people are different here, and I dont look down on their faults, they have bought into their own happiness. Maybe the "family" environment I shunned down upon when I first got here could some how be modified. Education and entrenchment of one's culture is possible. Yup yup, gotta start some where. And that's me.....