Yea that's right. I dont know usually I feel heart broken, but this time I am a bit relieved and enlightened by the results. No doubt that I will always love MT, I will always cherish the moments we shared. But, I think that today I finally realized something extremely important to me. That is, love is NOT long drawn out negations, its captivating and should be breathtaking. It should sweep a person off their feet, and make them be able to identify the worst part of the other person, and understand it. Sympathize as much as possible, with empathy wherever applicable.
MT simply does not crave me the same as I craved her. Her doubts would not be their, her insecurities would not be manifested so strongly in her decisions. Oppositely, she should be making a drive to be with me. Instead if she does ever part from her current situation, she will use the opportunity for self-reflection. Essentially, to find herself. Which after being in a poor relationship since high school she will require an ample amount of time to accomplish such a feat. If she is ever going to be able to. She has chosen by simply flawed logic to remain in poorly judged stability. In much the same manner that I love politics and used to whole heartily seek fiery debates, I have learned that there are some fundamental underlying philosophies that dictate people's choices. These are what makes MT and myself not be able to overcome the current scenario.
What's next?
Well, I do believe that who a man is largely do the people that he has know during his life, more importantly women. This begins from infancy during the nurturing of his mother to the ladies that he has relations with. MT has given me a chance to once again believe in my own benevolence. I honestly have faith in my own good judgment, I love the person that I am. Analogously, I AM A LION. Always have been, always will be. I have fought to repress my desire to dominate and to pursue. I have taught myself that I want to live a simple life out of the spot light, who am I kidding? I am not a paper chaser, that is not my style and in my opinion a sad way to life one's life. Instead, I wish to be a shadow master on the cave walls of our society. I doubt that I have the insight to become a philosopher in the truest sense. I will forge forward with the love of learning and share my wisdom with others. Hoping to give my children a better life. To partake in counterbalancing the ever on going forces that wish to throw us astray every day. It is in moderation that will find our salvation. It is with conservative idealism that my dreams and hopes shall come to fruition not the arms of another.
Now dont get me wrong, I will always. ALWAYS!!!! Love women, I need their company to guide me to mold me into a better man. Perhaps that my greatest downfall is that I love, love itself. Until the day that I find the perfect time in which I am compelled like a moth to a flame and she as well. Then it will fulfill the criteria noted above. That shall be the day in which I surrender myself and incorporate another again to my dreams.
MT simply does not crave me the same as I craved her. Her doubts would not be their, her insecurities would not be manifested so strongly in her decisions. Oppositely, she should be making a drive to be with me. Instead if she does ever part from her current situation, she will use the opportunity for self-reflection. Essentially, to find herself. Which after being in a poor relationship since high school she will require an ample amount of time to accomplish such a feat. If she is ever going to be able to. She has chosen by simply flawed logic to remain in poorly judged stability. In much the same manner that I love politics and used to whole heartily seek fiery debates, I have learned that there are some fundamental underlying philosophies that dictate people's choices. These are what makes MT and myself not be able to overcome the current scenario.
What's next?
Well, I do believe that who a man is largely do the people that he has know during his life, more importantly women. This begins from infancy during the nurturing of his mother to the ladies that he has relations with. MT has given me a chance to once again believe in my own benevolence. I honestly have faith in my own good judgment, I love the person that I am. Analogously, I AM A LION. Always have been, always will be. I have fought to repress my desire to dominate and to pursue. I have taught myself that I want to live a simple life out of the spot light, who am I kidding? I am not a paper chaser, that is not my style and in my opinion a sad way to life one's life. Instead, I wish to be a shadow master on the cave walls of our society. I doubt that I have the insight to become a philosopher in the truest sense. I will forge forward with the love of learning and share my wisdom with others. Hoping to give my children a better life. To partake in counterbalancing the ever on going forces that wish to throw us astray every day. It is in moderation that will find our salvation. It is with conservative idealism that my dreams and hopes shall come to fruition not the arms of another.
Now dont get me wrong, I will always. ALWAYS!!!! Love women, I need their company to guide me to mold me into a better man. Perhaps that my greatest downfall is that I love, love itself. Until the day that I find the perfect time in which I am compelled like a moth to a flame and she as well. Then it will fulfill the criteria noted above. That shall be the day in which I surrender myself and incorporate another again to my dreams.
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